that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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