I just made out with a guy for $7.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
