We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
