She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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