problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
