69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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