some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize