Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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