I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
