Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
