Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize