Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
