i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it's like iHOP with fire
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
