Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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