Christians are straight up FREAKS
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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