U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
