That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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