dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
