Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
