you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize