I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
