Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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