the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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