last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
