yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
