Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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