I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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