your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
