Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
