WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
