This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
