Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize