Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
