her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
