It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize