It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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