i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
