Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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