I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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