Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
