Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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