Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
