On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am one with the molecules
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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