1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
