420 ftw
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
