This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this just has baby written all over it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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