remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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