so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We're too hungover to prance.
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