if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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