Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
