I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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