Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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