I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
