I CAN MOONWALK!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
