I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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