Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
