I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he was CRYING into my vagina
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
