This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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