he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
