physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
