it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
