omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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